Deedee's Blog: Splendid Isolation

Oooooh hello there loves, it’s me, Dee Dee, local blogger here once again to tell you how things are and how things should be. Well! What a year 2020 is turning out to be, eh? My son assured me that Brexit would fix Britain’s broken politics, but I voted for it, we got out of Europe, and now we’re all locked inside our houses fearing for our lives! Not at all what I was promised, and I shall be having some stern words with our lad about this just as soon as I come out of isolation. He’s naughty, he is.

As I can’t go out to find things to moan about, I’ll just have to moan about things in my house instead. So - bacon. Why does a load of white flob always come out of it during cooking? It makes a right mess of the pan and isn’t very appetising. Something should be done. And don’t get me started on toilet roll (you don’t need to, I’m going to talk about it anyway)! I know lots of people are complaining they can’t get it, but spare a thought for people like me who spent the best part of a month stockpiling it. I only live in a tiny little room (my son takes up the rest of the house) and now I can’t move for toilet rolls. It wouldn’t surprise me if I ended up tripping over the daft things, got sent to hospital to catch coronavirus, then where would I be, eh? Hospital, obviously, but figuratively - where would I be? Answer me that! (don’t actually, I know the answer, it’s a rhetorical question)

At least Lidl is still open, the best British supermarket there is. As well as buying up all their toilet rolls, I’ve stocked up on their own-brand chocolate bars to get me through this period of isolation. I do love them, they are just as good as the real thing, and seeing as Cadbury’s isn’t Cadbury’s anymore since it sold out to some foreign company or other, there’s no better place to put your British pound than into Lidl.

I can’t wait to get through this awful virus business and then get back to my usual business of other people’s business. Until then, take care of your special selves, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and especially don’t hang around Cleveleys promenade in a hoodie otherwise I might just give you a piece of my mind from my bathroom window.
 
Byeeeeeee!
 
Dee Dee