Cleveleys News

Where’s the money? All we hear about these days is austerity, and that there is no money for public services; and how Brexit is going to bring us even more financial woes. Yet, the answer to all our financial problems is staring us in the face. In 2017, then Prime Minister Theresa May famously said that we don’t have “ a magic money tree that we can shake ”. Surely the solution is to get one of these trees! I think it is shocking that the leaders of our country would go on record to declare the existence of such a magical tree and yet make no effort to obtain one! This is Britain! We used to rule the world, and if we wanted something, we went and took it! Well, we want one of these magic money trees, so lets bally well go out and get one. I imagine they grow somewhere mystical, like Peru, or Stonehenge. Dave Sceptic Bispham Political correctness has gone mad I was quite dismayed to read that Blackpool Council are adapting a number of roads so that they are accessible to “

To many, the Blackpool Tramway is a charming throwback to bygone days. Not only is it one of the world’s oldest electric tramways, it is the last surviving first-generation tramway in the UK. Nostalgia is one of Blackpool’s most lucrative commodities, with many visitors trying to revisit the holidays of their youth or recreate them for their own children so no wonder then that Blackpool Council want to expand the tramway beyond the promenade and have already begun extending the tracks through the town towards the railway station. But when accidents occur, as they did at the 2019 ‘ Ride The Lights ' event when a 14-year-old boy got stuck under a tram leaving him in a critical condition, it seems logical that we should pause and ask ourselves whether we should be moving backwards by expanding this Victorian method of transportation or moving forward with something much safer. At the hugely popular (and otherwise brilliant) ‘ Ride The Lights ’, Blackpool promenade is closed to cars fo

Rough Justice We hear a lot about a lack of justice these days. I say make the punishment fit the crime. If you’ve stolen something, the public should be allowed to take their pick of your belongings; if you don’t pick up your dog’s poo then you should have dog poo pushed through your letterbox. Also, if you’ve lied on Twitter that the nitrogen used in fracking is completely safe because a percentage of our breathable air is nitrogen anyway then you should be forced to breathe only nitrogen and see how long you last. And have dog poo pushed through your letterbox. Oh and before you ask, yes, I am a regular contributor to Thornton Cleveleys Chat on Facebook. Tom Opinion Thornton McDonalds Yet Again Once More Now that the McDonalds in Cleveleys has finally been green-lit, the town can look forward to experiencing the Big Mac, Large Fries, Huge Belly and Massive Neck. Jilly Junter Cleveleys Cross about Norcross The work being done to Norcross roundabout to improve the traffic flow will

McDonald's restaurants. That’s what they call themselves, but they don’t really fit the dictionary definition of a restaurant, do they? “A place where meals are prepared and served to customers ”, says the Cambridge Dictionary. Well, it’s questionable whether anything is prepared on the site. For a start, the fries arrive at the franchises pre-chipped, pre-coated in sodium acid pyrophosphate (to stop them greying, apparently), partially cooked and flash frozen. They get dumped in hot oil on the premises, but that's hardly “preparation”. Then there’s the question of “serving”. If getting your purchase handed to you on a plastic tray while you stand waiting at the counter before finding your own sticky table at which to consume your sodium-acid-pyrophosphate-coated (but deliciously golden-looking) fries, and then clearing away your own rubbish and tray counts as “service”, then I guess they are a restaurant. That’s also assuming you consider what they sell to be “food”. Love them

Obliging Oystons Dear Cleveleys News, I would just like to say that amidst all this negative talk about Blackpool Football club and owners the Oystons people forget about the good, charitable things the club does. I run a charity that cares for vulnerable people in society and when I contacted the club to propose a visit we were quickly invited and warmly welcomed by the owners. We watched a game for free, and they really got involved, sitting right in amongst us. Then they gave us a free VIP tour of the stadium, even giving some from our party private tours. They were so kind and insisted we visit again very soon. So perhaps they aren't all bad and people should not be so quickly to say unkind things about them. Ben Karlow, Lancashire Home for Vulnerable and Easily-Suggestible Ex-Beauty Queens and Former Swimsuit Models (a registered charity) Brexit and Breslaw Dear Cleveleys News, I can't understand all these people moaning about us leaving Europe and saying that we won'

Oooooh, hello loves! It's me, Deedee, your favourite post-retirement blogger (well, I never actually retired because I never actually worked but that's immaterial, well I think so anyway) here with another blog about my fantastic life in Cleveleys, which I reckon is the best town in the whole of the Fylde, apart from Lytham, obviously. Ooh, and probably Poulton as well. But it's definitely up there in the top three. Anyway, I'm here once again to tell you what I reckon about things and what you should reckon about them too. This time the thing that has caught my attention is toilets . Even though some people don't like to admit it, we all go to the toilet, even her royal majesty the Queen, although I imagine hers is diamond-encrusted. And speaking of toilets that are encrusted, have you seen the state of the Danfo loos in the old Tesco carpark? Goodness me those things need a good scrubbing with some LIDL bleach and a loo-brush. 20p they cost which is a lot of m

Royal Fail Dear Cleveleys News, Don’t you think our Royal Mail service is in a terrible state? Over the Christmas period I did not receive ANY Christmas cards at all; in fact I can’t remember the last time I received any post at all! Okay, so I live entirely “off the grid” in the back of a Ford Transit van after faking my own death at sea to avoid creditors and none of my family or friends know where I am or even that I am still alive, but still, it is a shocking service and we deserve better. John Darwen Ford Transit Fracking After years of protesting against Cuadrilla’s fracking operations on the Fylde, the dirty, smelly corporation have finally upped sticks and left. Good riddance to them! And thanks for saving our land and future must go to the diligent and committed protestors who have sat outside the site this entire time in all weathers, 24 hours a day. Finally they can go home to their cold, dark yurts and have a bath in cold water, presumably in one of those outsi