Deedee's Blog - Toilets

Oooooh, hello loves! It's me, Deedee, your favourite post-retirement blogger (well, I never actually retired because I never actually worked but that's immaterial, well I think so anyway) here with another blog about my fantastic life in Cleveleys, which I reckon is the best town in the whole of the Fylde, apart from Lytham, obviously. Ooh, and probably Poulton as well. But it's definitely up there in the top three. Anyway, I'm here once again to tell you what I reckon about things and what you should reckon about them too. This time the thing that has caught my attention is toilets.

Even though some people don't like to admit it, we all go to the toilet, even her royal majesty the Queen, although I imagine hers is diamond-encrusted. And speaking of toilets that are encrusted, have you seen the state of the Danfo loos in the old Tesco carpark? Goodness me those things need a good scrubbing with some LIDL bleach and a loo-brush. 20p they cost which is a lot of money to smell someone else's still-warm poo. The ones on the prom aren't much better neither. The other day I was out walking on the prom, busting I was (quite normal when you get to my age though) so I made a bee-line (thankfully not a "wee-line") for the public toilets there only to find there was a workman in one of them. Typical! When I need a toilet the most it is undergoing work of some kind. Well, I waited to see if the workman would come out, but he seemed to be loitering more than working. Fancy getting all togged up in your work clothes, high-vis jacket, hard-hat etc, only to stand around and not do any actual work! Well it wasn't long before a policeman turned up. Good, I thought, he'll sort this situation out. But then a member of the armed forces turned up too, followed by a cowboy, a native-American indian and a biker. It was all a bit odd, and once they closed the door I decided nothing was going to get sorted any time soon so I had better go and find somewhere else to relieve myself.

Don't you think that having access to toilets is a basic human right? We've got a national health service in this country, why don't we have a national loo service too? I go to the toilet a heck of a lot more often than I go to the doctors (although I admit that with some my age it is probably about 50-50) so why is it we can see our doctor for free but we have to pay 20p to wee (or not to wee in the case I just told you about)? Come on Theresa May, stop piddling about with Brexit and sort out our piddling problem in Cleveleys. You might find it difficult to negotiate with those MEPs in Brussels but just ask a pensioner if they can negotiate with their own bladder- impossible!