Cleveleys News

Here at Cleveleys News we like to keep up with our competition by reading nearby Blackpool publication The Evening Gazette. Despite their frequent gaffes, typographical errors, poorly formatted photographs, amateurish writing, non-stories and shameless plugs for local businesses they can still be quite charming and entertaining in their own way. And you never know - with a bit of hard work they may even one day progress beyond amateur journalism and become a professional media outlet like Cleveleys News. While perusing their online edition this week we were genuinely saddened to read of the recent death of a local entertainer known to his fans as 'Mr Blackpool'. We were doubly saddened but also slightly baffled when two days later we read their coverage of the funeral of an entirely different person – a former Gazette photographer – also dubbed 'Mr Blackpool'. Here they both are: Peter Emmett - "Mr Blackpool" Mike Rossi - "Mr Blackpool"

Cleveleys has its Classic Car Show. Blackpool has its Illuminations. Fleetwood had Tram Sunday, but now there aren’t any trams and it is mainly just a giant loom-band market with candy-floss; so now Fleetwood has its Scarecrow Festival. Now in its second glorious year they are already calling Fleetwood Scarecrow Festival an ‘annual event’. And they can rightly call it ‘traditional’ too, as other towns have been doing it for centuries. We couldn’t turn down an opportunity to take part in such a traditional, annual event; and so this year Cleveleys News decided to enter our very own scarecrows in the festival! Want to know how we did it? Of course you do. Brace yourself – here come the facts. To make a scarecrow you need clothes, and stuffing. We wanted our scarecrows to reflect the culture and style of Cleveleys residents, so where better to dress them than from the charity shops of our beloved town? Sure enough we were able to pick up the garb of an elderly gentleman and a pirat

Fracking. It’s the controversial gas-extraction process that just won’t go away even though we all wish it would, one way or another. Groups opposed to it are relentless in their efforts to block it; meanwhile the Fracking industry doesn’t show any sign of giving up either. To get the unbiased facts we spoke to Cuddrilla CEO Sir David McDavid via Skype. CN: Sir David, good afternoon. SD: Good morning. CN: Morning? It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. SD: It’s only 9am in the Bahamas. CN: You are in the Bahamas? SD: No. CN: But you just said that you were in the Bahamas? SD: No I said "it’s bananas". CN: What’s bananas? SD: The time. In the Bahamas. They are five hours behind the UK, it’s bananas. CN: So you ARE in the Bahamas? SD: No not at all. CN: So why mention the time there? SD: Because of the bananas. CN: What bananas? SD: The bananas… in the Bahamas. CN: Okay it seems like we might be sidestepping the issue here so I’d like to press