An Interview with the BFC Chairwoman


Blackpool Football Club has been in a right old mess for some years now, and last year owner Owen Oyston appointed his daughter as chairwoman. We managed to get an exclusive telephone interview with her:

[telephone interview begins]

NC: Hello?

CN: Hello this is Cleveleys News. Is that Natalie?

NC: Certainly not your honour, I never even met the girl.

CN: Sorry, which girl is that? Am I speaking to Natalie?

NC: Yes, yes of course. Sorry I got confused there for a moment.

CN: Your voice sounds very gruff.

NC: Sorry about that, my big floppy hat fell over the mouthpiece and muffled my voice. Is that better now?

CN: Not really. Did you say “big floppy hat”?

NC: Yes.

CN: Is this Owen?

NC: [coughs] No.

CN: Okay. Well Natalie you’ve been chairwoman of Blackpool FC for a while now. How do you feel about the club’s performance?

NC: I’m very proud of what I’ve achieved here. When I bought the club in 1988 for a pound it was on the brink of collapse. Look at it now.

CN: Hang on - you were three years old in 1988. Surely you mean when your dad bought it?

NC: That’s what I said. When my dad bought it.

CN: Owen?

NC: Yes?

CN: So this IS Owen?

NC: No, this is Natalie. I thought you were asking if Owen was my dad.

CN: Okay… but how can you say everything is fine? Don’t you think the club is in a bit of a scrape right now?

NC: In a bit of a what?

CN: A scrape.

NC: Certainly not your honour, I never even met the girl.

CN: No, I said a scrape - a challenging or problematic situation. In a predicament.

NC: Oh I see. Sorry I was confused again for a moment.

CN: Are you sure this isn’t Owen?

NC: There’s nothing owing at all. Valeri is perfectly happy with our arrangement and nothing is up for sale. Everything is fine.

CN: So you think the team is in good shape?

NC: In good what?

CN: Shape.

NC: Certainly not your honour, I never even met the girl.

CN: This is Owen, isn’t it?

NC: Sorry I got confused again for a moment. Wait on the line, I’ll put Terry on.

CN: Terry?

TM: Hello? Yes this is Terry.

CN: Well we were hoping to speak to Natalie but something strange was going on.

TM: There’s nothing strange going on here. Everything is fine, the club and team are doing well.

CN: Sorry but I don't believe you. I think this is still Owen trying to ape other people.

TM: Trying to what other people?

CN: Ape!

TM: Certainly not your honour, I never even met the girl.

[end of phone call]

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