Cleveleys News

If you live in the Blackpool area and are looking for somewhere to eat out this weekend, you may have looked in The Evening Gazette's lifestyle section, where this week you can read what I believe to be the worst restaurant review ever for 'Mr Basrai's World Buffet'. I don't mean the review is bad in the sense that it is scathing of the restaurant – just that it reads like it was written by a 9 year old, and not a particularly bright one at that. Read on and see if you agree… RESTAURANT REVIEW: Mr Basrai’s - a place you can taste the difference Taste the difference? Between what? My daughter has reached that age where a meal is now a birthday must, along with the ever increasing list of gifts and of course, a party. Are you sure your daughter didn’t write this article? It reads very much like a child’s homework. So the choice of venue fell to her, and to my surprise it didn’t include pizza! Except it DID include pizza, as you go on to say. Mr Ba...

There was a time when being a nerd was something of a dirty word Reading books and being clever was not a popular endeavour But that opinion was soon offset with the advent of the Internet These days it’s harder for the ridiculer as geeks are considered so much cooler But they need a place they all can meet, somewhere to go for a nerdy treat and so was created a brand new invention: something called a Comic Convention They happen all over, in towns and in cities Some of them good, and some of them…. not so good Then Fylde coast nerds began to drool at news of a comic con here in Blackpool! The hype for this event soon began No one suspected it might be a scam They promised 'conateers' would have a ball and that this event would have it all Meet your favourite sci-fi actor! There’s a technician from the death star’s reactor One of the zombies from Dawn of the Dead The guy who operated Jabba’s head You can cospla...

Set in 1950s Cleveleys, the moving tale of a shoe seller’s daughter and her struggle to overcome prejudice in a male-dominated profession. WARNING: This review may contain loafers. The Shoe Seller’s Daughter is the third in J.R.R. Withers hugely unsuccessful series of footwear novels which began with A Tale of Two Slippers and was followed by To Kill A Moccasin . Fourteen years on from the events of Moccasin we find Iain Smithers’ daughter Clarabelle has come of age and is preparing to take over the family business, but she has a rival in the form of her evil uncle Clark Startrite who believes a woman has no place in the shoe trade and wishes to take over his brother’s business himself. Withers appears to have taken on board criticism of his previous works, that they were “disturbingly shoe-obsessed” (Times) and “entirely lacking in coherent prose” (Independent). Blackpool’s Evening Gazette was slightly kinder with their review when they said his previous work “reads...

Here at Cleveleys News we like to keep up with our competition by reading nearby Blackpool publication The Evening Gazette. Despite their frequent gaffes, typographical errors, poorly formatted photographs, amateurish writing, non-stories and shameless plugs for local businesses they can still be quite charming and entertaining in their own way. And you never know - with a bit of hard work they may even one day progress beyond amateur journalism and become a professional media outlet like Cleveleys News. While perusing their online edition this week we were genuinely saddened to read of the recent death of a local entertainer known to his fans as 'Mr Blackpool'. We were doubly saddened but also slightly baffled when two days later we read their coverage of the funeral of an entirely different person – a former Gazette photographer – also dubbed 'Mr Blackpool'. Here they both are: Peter Emmett - "Mr Blackpool" Mike Rossi - "Mr Blackpool" ...

Cleveleys has its Classic Car Show. Blackpool has its Illuminations. Fleetwood had Tram Sunday, but now there aren’t any trams and it is mainly just a giant loom-band market with candy-floss; so now Fleetwood has its Scarecrow Festival. Now in its second glorious year they are already calling Fleetwood Scarecrow Festival an ‘annual event’. And they can rightly call it ‘traditional’ too, as other towns have been doing it for centuries. We couldn’t turn down an opportunity to take part in such a traditional, annual event; and so this year Cleveleys News decided to enter our very own scarecrows in the festival! Want to know how we did it? Of course you do. Brace yourself – here come the facts. To make a scarecrow you need clothes, and stuffing. We wanted our scarecrows to reflect the culture and style of Cleveleys residents, so where better to dress them than from the charity shops of our beloved town? Sure enough we were able to pick up the garb of an elderly gentleman and a pirat...

Fracking. It’s the controversial gas-extraction process that just won’t go away even though we all wish it would, one way or another. Groups opposed to it are relentless in their efforts to block it; meanwhile the Fracking industry doesn’t show any sign of giving up either. To get the unbiased facts we spoke to Cuddrilla CEO Sir David McDavid via Skype. CN: Sir David, good afternoon. SD: Good morning. CN: Morning? It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. SD: It’s only 9am in the Bahamas. CN: You are in the Bahamas? SD: No. CN: But you just said that you were in the Bahamas? SD: No I said "it’s bananas". CN: What’s bananas? SD: The time. In the Bahamas. They are five hours behind the UK, it’s bananas. CN: So you ARE in the Bahamas? SD: No not at all. CN: So why mention the time there? SD: Because of the bananas. CN: What bananas? SD: The bananas… in the Bahamas. CN: Okay it seems like we might be sidestepping the issue here so I’d like to press ...

Panic and confusion broke out in Cleveleys yesterday after a partially completed clone of the late TV comedian Les Dawson escaped from a local biotech facility and ran amok in the town. The escaped clone of Les Dawson who ran riot in Cleveleys yesterday The clone had been commissioned from Cleveleys based laboratory ' Clone-U-Like ' by an independent television production company, and was due to star in it's own TV special later in the year. But after the abomination of nature broke free from the facility and caused widespread chaos in the surrounding area, TV chiefs say the programme may no longer go ahead. The 'Clone-U-Like' biotech facility at the centre of the controversy The replica comedian smashed through the growth-tube in which he had spent the last 3 months suspended in synthetic-amniotic fluid and managed to make it past the minimum security to the exit door. From here he ran through the town naked, save for some unbranded running shoes he ma...